I was warned about a few things before leaving for a summer on the mission field here in Poland. A few of of those warnings were to be wary of developing expectations, to be careful not to run yourself ragged, and to expect a different diet. I was not too concerned about the first and third, because I believed that I hadn't developed very many expectations because I did not have any idea what to expect and I am far from a picky eater. The second warning, however, I knew I needed to heed. I have a tendency to, as my family would put it, operate at 500 miles per hour. I think my high pace style of living comes from my passionate nature that desires to go all out. You know the saying, go big or go home! I "go big" 90% of the time and have to be careful to not go so big that I HAVE to go home.
Recently, all 3 of these warnings played out in different ways but at the same time. I will try to be as clear as possible, but I ask for your forgiveness beforehand because I am writing this in the middle of camp which is great but chaotic :)
Last Saturday was our first day of English Camp here in Bielsko-Biala. Being the first day, everything was high energy - games, dancing, singing, everything! Throughout the day, I tried to maintain high energy but I was struggling. I was finding myself very short of breath, dizzy, and weak. I had even begun to develop some bruising on my thighs. That night, I fell apart mentally and physically during our post-camp meeting. I could not catch my breath, I could barely walk, and I was broken down in tears. I know it sounds like stress or anxiety, but I have no conscious awareness of stress in my life at this point. I had very few responsibilities at camp, which I believe is based on God's sovereignty, and I was honestly very happy and relaxed. However, my body was in chaos which broke me down mentally.
I believed at that point and still believe that these symptoms were related to my iron levels. I was taken home to my host home that night, given some iron supplements, and told to sleep. I slept for most of Sunday and tried to return to camp for the evening session. I was feeling better but far from 100%, so I also spent Sunday night in my host home. I returned to camp Monday and attempted normal. I was short of breath at times, but tried to push myself to keep going. (Remember that warning about going too hard?)
Monday evening I began to break down again. Breathing became difficult and more shallow. I was very dizzy and weak. I eventually began crying and called for Kat, my friend/roommate/paramedic for the summer. The leaders decided to call for an ambulance to take me to the hospital to try and figure out what was going on. After a time of fear amidst language and cultural differences at the local hospital, I was dismissed with no real answers. My vitals were normal and my blood work came back clear (though they did not check my iron level). I could go into a lot of detail about how God met me during my short time in the hospital, but you'll have to come ask me about it when I get back :) Let's just say that God provided much needed comfort in several ways!
I returned to my host home for the night and slept in the next morning. I woke up feeling better but still weak. I was able to return to camp that Tuesday afternoon and have tried to take it easy the rest of this week. Today, Friday, I am feeling much better and more like myself.
As I stated before, I believe that most of this was brought on by low iron. My diet here in Poland has been very different. Now please don't get me wrong, because I LOVE Polish food and have enjoyed the meals I have had here. However, I have eaten very little red meat (beef) or green vegetables (broccoli, asparagus, etc.), which I believe has influenced my iron levels being low. However, on top of a different diet, I also pushed myself further than I should have. I probably should have listened better to those warnings, huh? :)
I do not want to ignore the lesson that I have also learned about expectations. (Though I feel that I have learned a lot this summer regarding expectations!) I expected a few things going into camp this week. I expected to stay healthy, connect with students, play sports and games, and learn even more about the Gospel. Obviously, staying healthy didn't quite happen and, as a result, neither did connecting with students. Because I was out so often, I have had a difficult time making new connections with campers. Also, I have been unable/incapable of playing sports and games. However, I have learned a whole lot about the Gospel and about God's sovereignty!
I was not assigned an English class to teach and was given only 2 days to lead sports. Oh, how God knew what was coming! The days that I missed, I was not needed. The days for me to lead sports, I was there and able. God also provided me with family and friends here in Poland to take care of me and look over me. I had a mom and dad taking care of me (Heidi and Greg), siblings to worry about and check on me (Kelsey, Jillian, Josh), and some new best friends to tell me when I was being stupid (Kat and Lauren)!
This week was NOT what I expected. But oh how faithful and mighty is the God that I serve!!
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