"I'm not dead yet..."

I was warned about a few things before leaving for a summer on the mission field here in Poland. A few of of those warnings were to be wary of developing expectations, to be careful not to run yourself ragged, and to expect a different diet. I was not too concerned about the first and third, because I believed that I hadn't developed very many expectations because I did not have any idea what to expect and I am far from a picky eater. The second warning, however, I knew I needed to heed. I have a tendency to, as my family would put it, operate at 500 miles per hour. I think my high pace style of living comes from my passionate nature that desires to go all out. You know the saying, go big or go home! I "go big" 90% of the time and have to be careful to not go so big that I HAVE to go home.

Recently, all 3 of these warnings played out in different ways but at the same time. I will try to be as clear as possible, but I ask for your forgiveness beforehand because I am writing this in the middle of camp which is great but chaotic :)

Last Saturday was our first day of English Camp here in Bielsko-Biala. Being the first day, everything was high energy - games, dancing, singing, everything! Throughout the day, I tried to maintain high energy but I was struggling. I was finding myself very short of breath, dizzy, and weak. I had even begun to develop some bruising on my thighs. That night, I fell apart mentally and physically during our post-camp meeting. I could not catch my breath, I could barely walk, and I was broken down in tears. I know it sounds like stress or anxiety, but I have no conscious awareness of stress in my life at this point. I had very few responsibilities at camp, which I believe is based on God's sovereignty, and I was honestly very happy and relaxed. However, my body was in chaos which broke me down mentally.

I believed at that point and still believe that these symptoms were related to my iron levels. I was taken home to my host home that night, given some iron supplements, and told to sleep. I slept for most of Sunday and tried to return to camp for the evening session. I was feeling better but far from 100%, so I also spent Sunday night in my host home. I returned to camp Monday and attempted normal. I was short of breath at times, but tried to push myself to keep going. (Remember that warning about going too hard?) 

Monday evening I began to break down again. Breathing became difficult and more shallow. I was very dizzy and weak. I eventually began crying and called for Kat, my friend/roommate/paramedic for the summer. The leaders decided to call for an ambulance to take me to the hospital to try and figure out what was going on. After a time of fear amidst language and cultural differences at the local hospital, I was dismissed with no real answers. My vitals were normal and my blood work came back clear (though they did not check my iron level). I could go into a lot of detail about how God met me during my short time in the hospital, but you'll have to come ask me about it when I get back :) Let's just say that God provided much needed comfort in several ways!

I returned to my host home for the night and slept in the next morning. I woke up feeling better but still weak. I was able to return to camp that Tuesday afternoon and have tried to take it easy the rest of this week. Today, Friday, I am feeling much better and more like myself.

As I stated before, I believe that most of this was brought on by low iron. My diet here in Poland has been very different. Now please don't get me wrong, because I LOVE Polish food and have enjoyed the meals I have had here. However, I have eaten very little red meat (beef) or green vegetables (broccoli, asparagus, etc.), which I believe has influenced my iron levels being low. However, on top of a different diet, I also pushed myself further than I should have. I probably should have listened better to those warnings, huh? :)

I do not want to ignore the lesson that I have also learned about expectations. (Though I feel that I have learned a lot this summer regarding expectations!) I expected a few things going into camp this week. I expected to stay healthy, connect with students, play sports and games, and learn even more about the Gospel. Obviously, staying healthy didn't quite happen and, as a result, neither did connecting with students. Because I was out so often, I have had a difficult time making new connections with campers. Also, I have been unable/incapable of playing sports and games. However, I have learned a whole lot about the Gospel and about God's sovereignty!

I was not assigned an English class to teach and was given only 2 days to lead sports. Oh, how God knew what was coming! The days that I missed, I was not needed. The days for me to lead sports, I was there and able. God also provided me with family and friends here in Poland to take care of me and look over me. I had a mom and dad taking care of me (Heidi and Greg), siblings to worry about and check on me (Kelsey, Jillian, Josh), and some new best friends to tell me when I was being stupid (Kat and Lauren)! 

This week was NOT what I expected. But oh how faithful and mighty is the God that I serve!!

Great Expectations

     Throughout the past few years, I have had very few constants in my life. I don't say this to draw pity or express complaint. In fact, I say this to help display God's faithfulness! Over the past month, I have seen how God has prepared me specifically for this time, in this place, with these people, to do this work. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 ESV) Oh, how God has worked all things together in my life for His purpose!
     During college, I lived on campus in a dorm room for 4 years. I shared a single room with another individual for 4 years. I shared a single bathroom, toilet, and shower with 3 other individuals for 3 years (1 year was fun with a community bathroom...). Every Christmas and summer break, I moved home for 1-3 months only to return back to dorm life. Please don't get me wrong, I loved dorm life! Dorm life just made making roots more difficult due to it's long-range nomadic nature. Also, during college, I got my degree in education. I learned how to prepare, organize, and teach a lesson. I learned how to address different learners and how to adapt to people and situations on the fly, mid-lesson.
     After college, I struggled with being very lonely. I went from being surrounded by close friends all of the time to not having a close friend within 30-45 minutes of where I was living. This was a very tough time for me. Though I consider myself an introvert, I longed for relationship. It was during this time that God taught me to become more dependent on Him to meet my need for relationship first and foremost. I learned to wait on God's timing for relationships around me to develop instead of trying to force them. I am thankful that this period only lasted a few months and that God has brought some amazing relationships into my life in Montgomery, in His time.
     Also, after college, God closed some doors in order to open the door for me to serve at AUM's BCM. During my time so far at AUM, God has provided godly people to pour into my life to teach me and grow me as a Christian and as a young woman. Our Campus Minister, Lee, has taught me the importance of knowing what I believe and why I believe it. He has also helped me to understand that every issue in our lives comes down to a matter of our hearts. Lee has challenged me to depend on the Gospel and to love the Gospel. Our Administrative Assistant, Mrs. Diane, has taught me how to lead better and how to serve better. She has taught me the importance of delegating and has pushed me to implement this in my leadership. Mrs. Diane has taught me, by example, how to be a better listener and how to speak with truth and love. Our BCM President, Justin Law, has taught me the importance of making a person feel welcome and included and the impact a smile can have on someone's life. He has encouraged me to follow my gut, but depend on the Lord's guidance. Justin was my first friend when I moved back to Montgomery and his brotherhood has been a positive example of a godly relationship with a brother in Christ.
     I list all of these things to show how God has prepared me, by His sovereignty, to be in Poland this summer as a JV intern. This summer, I have traveled to and stayed in 8 different cities with at least 1-3 roommates at each location. (dorm life) I have spoken and/or taught in at least 7 different schools, often times with little idea of what level of English is spoken in each class. (degree in education) I have traveled to a foreign country with zero relationships developed prior to arrival, where there is a language barrier with nationals. (from loneliness to dependence on God) I have been thrown into relationship with a team of 9 other interns. (God's timing in development) I have encountered Polish students with different religious beliefs that often focus on works-based religion as opposed to repentant heart change and relationship with Christ. (relationship with Lee) I have had to delegate tasks to be accomplished with fellow interns and have developed relationships with students through listening and loving. (relationship with Mrs. Diane) I have met a lot of new people and will be meeting a lot of new campers who desire to feel welcome and included. I have also been placed in relationship with 5 male interns who are my brothers in Christ. (relationship with Justin)
     Notice one thing I did not list: soccer. When I first signed on with Josiah Venture, I signed on to be a part of a soccer intern team that would put on soccer camps in Poland. As time passed, it came to be that only one camp would be soccer-oriented and the others would be English-oriented. I was asked to prepare to head up the soccer camp that would take place in Jastrzebie. Now, I am finding out that there will most likely be no soccer-oriented portion of this camp. Teaching soccer was a major draw for me when it came to Poland. I don't honestly know if I would have been interested in this opportunity if soccer were not a part. God obviously has other plans for me! I am certain, however, that this is exactly where I am supposed to be and He knew exactly what it would take for me to get to this place.
     Today marks one full month in Poland. On May 30th, I landed in Krakow and began this incredible adventure with a handful of expectations and a heart full of unknowns! Tomorrow, we will lead our first camp of the summer in the city of Jastrzebie. All of us have some type of expectations for this English camp, including myself. However, as I was warned and have seen come to fruition, expectations and reality rarely match up. This fact leads myself and my fellow interns to a crucial state of mind: FLEXIBILITY! Despite many great expectations, we must remain flexible and open to the option that God may have different plans that are GREATER THAN our expectations!

     "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

(Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV)    

     

Stranger Than Fiction

Rocking out transportation E.T. style!

     Over the past few days, I've gotten to explore my surroundings here in Bielsko-Biala on my bike (okay, it's not really my bike...it's Heidi's, but I'm claiming dibs for the summer!). I've enjoyed so much getting out into the woods and spending time alone with the Lord. Heidi suggested that I take a different route today up to the top of a water reservoir in what I would describe as the equivalent to a state park. She told me which path to take to get to a small restaurant at the top where I could grab something to drink while overlooking the reservoir. The route was very bumpy and rather up hill, but the view was worth it!

     

     I went into the small restaurant and bought a water, then went to sit out on the patio overlooking the water. I pulled my camera out to take a few pictures and thought about throwing in my iPod, but decided against it. I was planning to just sit and relax, possibly pull out my bible, but my first priority was to down some water! (By the way, I have GOT to learn how to tell the difference between carbonated and non-carbonated water in Polish!)

     As I was recovering from my uphill trek, the older man sitting at the table in front of me turned around and started speaking to me in Polish. Please understand that I have worked on learning some Polish, but my words remain at the basics of yes, no, thank you, sorry, hello, goodbye, and the like. However, I gathered that the man was asking me to take a picture of him in front of the water with his camera. Luckily, I did not need language to aim and press a button :) He thanked me and I went back to my seat. 

     All of a sudden the man turned around and started talking to me in Polish again. I tried to explain to him that I spoke English and could not understand what he was saying, however, it did not faze him one bit! What ensued was a rather interesting 30-45 minute conversation with this older Polish gentleman. We tried our best to communicate despite that fact that I do not speak Polish and he does not speak English. I was able to pull out my Polish phrase book that Anslee Warren gave me before I came and he was able to point out some words in the Polish-English dictionary to help us along.

     From what I gathered (keep in mind that he only spoke Polish and occasionally a little German, which I don't speak either...), he had met people from France, Portugal, Spain, Czech Republic, Serbia, Ireland, Slovakia, and others, but I was the first American he had ever met. I think he works for a ship at a port in the Baltic Sea. He asked me how many times I've been to Poland and was shocked to find out it was my first time here. He asked why I was here and if I was here visiting family. I was able to share with him, as best as I could, that I was staying with new friends at their home and was here to tell people about the love of Jesus. If he did not understand anything else I said, he recognized the name of Jesus! He and I spoke for a while until it was time for me to head back home. We said goodbye and he gave me his phone number in case I was ever in an emergency and needed a friend. 

     I have no idea why God had me encounter Mr. Lukas today. We were hardly able to communicate at all. However, we crossed paths and I told him about Jesus. I pray that if he understood anything from our time together, he understood that I was here because Jesus loves him. I pray that he walked away with a positive impression of me not only as an American, but as a Christian representing Christ.

Mr. Wiesłow Lukas

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

In the past 4 days, I have traveled via airplane, tram, taxi, train, and even in the back of a stranger's van! Yet, through it all, I am safe and having a blast!

After several delays, a missed plane due to delays, and a plane swap back in Frankfurt due to pressurization going out, I finally made it into Krakow on Wednesday! My team had already started The Amazing Race (3 day long team competition put on by JV) but myself and two other girls, Katharina and Jordan, jumped right in with them at the Krakow Mall where we put on a model runway shoot outside in the mall square. If you'd like to know more details than I'm going to give you, hit me up and I'll share but it's way too much for a blog post haha! We spent our first day in Krakow completing various tasks but it was incredible seeing the Main Square! Absolutely beautiful both during the day and possibly even more so at night with all of the lights! Wednesday night we crashed in a hostel in Krakow and I fell asleep within 5 minutes.

Thursday morning we woke up and grabbed breakfast at the hostel. My first polish breakfast consisted of bread, butter, ham, and cheese with warm milk. It's definitely going to take some adjusting to, but I'm down for adaptation :) We spent the majority of Thursday in Krakow and even got to visit Wawel Castel, which has a legend of a dragon that used to terrorize the area. Also, while in Krakow, we visited Oskar Schindler's old factory on which the movie "Schindler's List" was based. The factory has been converted into a Holocaust and WWII museum detailing the influence on Poland. I wish we could have had more time there because it was very powerful. There were pictures from the German occupation that had buildings and locations that we had just spent time in and around. Suddenly it all became so much more real. Most pictures from American history show buildings or sites that either no longer exist or have changed drastically since that time. In Poland, the architecture is the same as it was 100 years ago. We left Krakow and rode a bus to Skoczow, then walked to the H2O Camp in Ochaby. We were exhausted but it was exciting to see the camp that I will be spending several weeks in :)

Friday morning (this morning) we had breakfast at H2O, still the offer of bread, butter, ham, and cheese, but they also offered Nutella! I have a feeling Nutella will be my new friend this summer :) Ashley Hostetter would be proud, I know! We completed a set of tasks at the camp and then walked into the town of Ochaby to catch a bus back into Skoczow. However, the next bus didn't come for a couple of hours. So we got creative and, in the spirits of competition and adventure, we found someone with a van and offered to pay them if they would drive us to Skoczow. Problem: 6 seats, 10 team members plus driver. Solution: 5 of us rode in the back of the van with the tools! What an adventure! Once in Skoczow, we took a bus to a city on the border, then ran across the border into Czech Republic. In Czech Republic, we completed a task and then caught a train followed by a taxi to arrive safely at Malenovice, a hotel owned by JV. We were reunited with our luggage and were checked in to the hotel. The view is overwhelmingly beautiful! I hope to post a picture soon! Tonight, we will start training until next Wednesday.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support through all of the travel! God is already working and it's exciting to see His faithfulness!

Back to the Future

Today is my last day at the age of 23. Tomorrow, I turn 24 and then, 2 days later, I leave the country for 10 weeks. I remember my last birthday very clearly. I was interning at Taylor Road Baptist with some incredible teenagers and we had a movie night where I got an awesome Cookie Monster shirt! I loved what I was doing, but the position didn't pay and I had no idea what the future held.

About a month later, I was turned down for the Journeyman program through the International Mission Board. Closed door. I remember praying, "God, what do you want me to do then?" Then I received a text message from Lee Dymond: "Why don't you come work for me?" AUM was nowhere on my radar, but God knew it was exactly where I was headed.

After several months of paperwork and waiting, I was officially placed as a Semester Missionary at Auburn Montgomery's Baptist Campus Ministries. I began working alongside Lee in campus ministry striving to reach college students with the Gospel. God provided a position that fit what I needed and what the BCM needed. Through working with the BCM, I was provided with my first opportunity to present my testimony. I had no idea how students would respond or how their view of me may change once they learned of the past sin in my life. That's when God first spoke Jeremiah 1:7 into my heart. I was to go where He sent me and say what He commanded me to say. I learned that my testimony was not about my past sin, but about the present and overwhelming grace of my Savior and Lord. After sharing my testimony at the BCM, doors opened up quickly for me to connect with students not only at AUM, but also at Alabama State. I have since been able to speak at both Alabama State's BCM and Taylor Road Baptist Church sharing my testimony.

Doors were opening but all within a very short-range view. All the while, God was impressing upon me the importance of understanding the power of the Gospel. With a growing passion for the Gospel came a growing passion for missions. However, when I first found out about Poland as an opportunity, I remember thinking, "Poland?? Really?" I had been actively praying about and seeking out mission work in South America, so I was quite caught off guard by an opportunity in Eastern Europe. I knew nothing of Poland other than the fact that I dated a guy in college who had a Polish heritage! However, the Holy Spirit began to open my eyes and transform my heart.

I was still hesitant when I met with Laura Hash, the camps director in Poland for Josiah Venture. However, after meeting with Laura and learning about JV, how they do ministry, and the opportunity that was available for me to serve, I knew without a doubt that I was Poland bound!

So here I am, sitting on my floor looking at a pile of stuff and wondering how to fit it into a backpack with a peace of heart. A peace that I am going where God has sent me. A peace that is firmly founded in God's sovereign nature that He has proven to me over and over again.

I'm not certain what this summer holds, but I am certain that God will work.
Soli Deo Gloria.